He loved me and provided for me for a year that I remember as nothing but wonderful. But as time wore on, things grew shaky. He would get mad and belittle me, or blame me for everything. He also became increasingly controlling. “If you move, I will break every bone in your body,” he would threaten to keep me from going outside.
Afraid, I tried to appease him by accommodating his behavior and learning to avoid his triggers. I tried to keep him from getting angry, but he would still call my names and shower me with insults, no matter what I did. One day, he woke me up and hit me so hard that I ended up in the hospital. I tried to get out over and over again, I remembered. my family wasn't able to help. Once, I found safety in a shelter for survivors of domestic violence, but I soon left due to the inconvenience and difficulty of being away from my family.
With nowhere else to turn, I slept on the street for nights at a time before returning to him, just to have a roof over my head and food to eat. I was trying to move forward, but the abuse set me ten steps back.
In 2010, I was finally admitted to Women Against violence’s emergency. I stayed for three months, recovering from sheer exhaustion and the impact of the abuse. I worked with case managers to pursue employment and education opportunities, as well as financial assistance, as I began building my independence. I also worked with case managers to access safe housing.
After moving into my own place, I continued to leverage one-on-one support through Women Against Violence’s Safe at Home program. I developed budgeting and job search skills, and applied for permanent housing as I planned for my long-term safety.
